1. Pizza-flavored beer seems like the type of unorthodox brew that would do the latter, as, up until this point, the only pizza-flavored beer familiar to the recreational boozer has been the end of the night palette clearing, known in some circles as “bending and sending” (which results in “pavement pizza”). However, according to this review from the Fairfield County Weekly, Tom Seefurth’s Mamma Mia Pizza Beer is actually quite quaffable, if not actually the most authentic-tasting beer. While the brewers do include oregano, basil, tomato and garlic in the mix, it isn’t exactly a slice of pie crammed into a beer bottle. According to the reviewer, “…it resembled the taste of pizza-flavored Combos or Pringles… rather artificial, kind of like the Baco-Bits of the alcohol world.” The reviewer, a Shark Guy in spirit, scoffed at the pizza beer’s low alcohol content (4.5 percent) and said that he’d “just as soon knock back a beer-flavored beer.” [Editor's note: We should mention that we take no responsibility for sickened stomachs. Also, this next one is not meant for humans, but like those sad stories of senior citizens on fixed budgets being left to dine on the Alpo, there is nothing to stop you from trying it out for yourself].
3. Banana Beer. A garden hose and a g-string away from being a Budweiser marketing executive’s wet dream, unfortunately this brew is going to have to stay in the realm of the subconscious for now as these suds are predominantly brewed in Kenya. According to Howtopedia, which is like Wikipedia without the citations (perhaps not the best source for launching a home bootlegging business), banana beer is made using the fermented juices of sorghum and, if you haven’t guessed it by now, bananas. “Come, Mr. Tally Man, tally me banana / Daylight come and me wanna go home” (where I won’t be sipping on this)
Neither has Asia. It’s actually the Japanese who are responsible for this Sunday Gravy brew, unsurprisingly, given their penchant for squid ice cream and Pepsi Ice Cucumber drink, not to mention a non-alcoholic beer marketed at children, Kidsbeer!. According to the New York Times, the potable, “which comes in a brown bottle and is advertised with the slogan “Even kids cannot stand life unless they have a drink,” (Editor’s note: probably not the best slogan to use in a country with one of the world’s highest suicide rates) is lager-colored and foams like beer, but tastes like cola.”
7. Chocolate Donut Beer: Brewed by Shenandoah Brewery in Alexandria Virginia, which, we shit thou not, offers a major discount for law-enforcement officials (the discount doesn’t specifically apply to the donut beer, but still…) comes the Chocolate Donut Beer. This begging-for-a-Homer-Simpson-reference beer is in league with pizza beer in terms of giving you something to drink to remind you of the unhealthy things that you like to eat. The beer overwhelmingly positive feedback on Beer Advocate, including an A+ rating from a guy who said it smelled “Like you just opened a pack of those cheap waxy corner store chocolate gem donuts”.
“Way too much black pepper”
“Roasted malt, roasted spicy pepper, very small amount of caramel sweetness”
and the always unappetizing…
“Kind of feels like its leaving a coating on my mouth”
10. Creme Brulee Beer. To close, as a way to cleanse the palette in dessert fashion, Crème brûlée Beer. Because when you think vanilla custard, cream and caramel…Do not light with a blowtorch, not because you could blow yourself to smithereens (we frankly don’t care), but because you need at least 100 proof to be flammable.